The Tuxedo Effect

An amusing anecdote from yesterday, highlighting the many hilarious facets of the human mind (quotes may not be verbatim, but pretty darn close):

Last night I went to play poker with some friends. I've spoken about this before: it's a great group, and Brian and Jesse's home outside of Tampa is beautiful. Unfortunately, due to where its located, it can be a real bear getting out there during Friday's rush to get home. Last time took about an hour and forty minutes! To help skirt this, and save time, I met the other half of the group at Westshore mall to carpool and leave before the dreaded traffic struck. The problem is, of course, that I live in the opposite direction, so I didn't have time to stop at home to change - I was still in my formal work attire.

Now, as a brief precursor, several studies have come out recently regarding the placebo effect, and the power of the mind to influence situations. These studies got me thinking, and made me decide to try a little experiment. Knowing full well I wouldn't have time to change that evening, I packed a bag of clothes to change, and dressed up in some of my sharper clothes (black shirt, grey pants, silverish-grey tie - very snazzy). I might not be worth a million bucks, but I only had to convince people that I was.

I wandered around for a little while, and then stumbled upon the perfect store: Brookstone, home of the expensive gadget that is really cool but you certainly don't need.

Merely walking into the store confirmed my suspicions: Like a moths to a flame... locusts upon a field... they descended. Salesmen - hunger in their eye.

I actually walked in, unintentionally, at the same time as another group wearing faded t-shirts. I believe the salesman said something like this: "How are you folks do -- Sir, are you looking for something in particular?"

He had been carefully placing items on a low shelf, but some sixth sense must have alerted him to my prescence - in a moment, he had suddenly stood bolt upright, head just peering over the display - like some prairie dog out of his hole, sniffing the wind.

And when I made the mistake of turning away for but a moment to check some newfangled holographic clock/toaster gadget, he was upon me: "Perhaps you would like to try our new deluxe shoulder massager? It's like having your own personal massuese on hand 24/7."

I actually feel kind of bad, because I intentionally said, "Oh no, thank you, I'm just looking," and then made a bee-line directly to the biggest display in the store, to where the most outlandish armchair I had seen in a long time waited.

"That's the newest in our UltraRelaxtion line. It actually senses how you are sitting and analyzes your muscle tension to create a personalized massage experience."

"Really?" In my most delightfully surprised voice.

"Oh yes, and we're having a special promotional offer." He cooed.

Out of curiousity, I actually checked the price tag at this point: It was $150 dollars off... of a $2000+ armchair. Hooray for <5% off!

And then the salesman tossed me a softball I simply couldn't resist: "You know, I could tell you more, but it really is the type of thing you must experience."

"Oh, I don't know... I don't think I could - it seems like the type of thing where if I tried it, I simply couldn't say no." I definitely felt a twinge of guilt at that one, especially when he responded, right on cue.

"Well, now you simply must try it!" He was really excited at this point.

At that point, although I actually did want to try the chair, I simply couldn't string the guy along any further. Another gentlemen walked into the store, and so I politely excused myself as best I could. I know its the salesman's job to do it, and he has to deal with failure constantly, but it still bothered me to string the guy along when there was absolutely zero chance of me buying anything. I might as well let him work on another customer who actually might purchase something. Perhaps he was just good at seeming interested (and a good salesmen will), but I have never gotten that level of attention, and so quickly, before. He actually seemed disappointed when I left, like the big one that got away.

But it was an entertaining and enlightening experience. My goal was to really see how much of a difference The Tuxedo Effect would make... and what a difference. It is something we all realize, but it is shocking to experience at times. And honestly, it wasn't just in Brookstone where I suddenly recieved so much more attention. I guess I just looked like a man with money burning through his pockets.

Power suit, indeed.